Written Dec 2013. Posted now!
So, if you see an online ad and click, you expect instant gratification.
It is the one thing that is gosh damn sure to happen. You click and it’s “open sesame!”
Click, nothing.
You stare deep into your screen.
Was my pointer not on the URL?
Move the mouse away, and take the pointer back to the URL.
Click, nothing.
Thinks to self – must be a dead link, let me check.
Is someone online on G-talk? Yes!
Can you check if this link works?
Ping link.
Yeah, it does!
Oh, can you ping it back?
Ummm, sure!
Ping!
Click, nothing.
Argh!
Muttering to self – damn you Chrome, this is what I get for making you default.
Fine! I got options you know, you are not the only one in my life.
Ah, my dear Firefox, where have you been? I missed you. What’s new with you? Or should I say what extension is new about you?
I know it’s been a while, but click.
Firefox – Yeah right! Nothing.
You – please pretty please with a cherry on top
Firefox – umm, sure, with whipped cream and all that. But hey, nothing!
You – Crapzilla!
Talking to yourself – Ummm, what’s that other thingy? You know like
the letter E. It is like a blue icon with a swish on it. Man! I can’t remember.
Okay, fine, this aint rocket science.
Start-up> Program> scroll > read >scroll > read > scroll > read.
You have probably passed IE just 5 times over now but scrolled right over.
People! Welcome to attentional blindness.
Ring ring.
Hey, what’s up?
Do you know the blue browser thingy? You know pre-installed but don’t really care for its browser.
Think you are referring to Internet Explorer.
Yes, yes, yes!
After 10 seconds, it hits you – oh! it’s under ‘I’ as in Internet Explorer,
well then, their logo is all wrong!
Launch. Click.
You need IE V7 or more to view this content.
About IE> Version 1
Dang! I do need an upgrade.
Obviously, it won’t strike you to search Microsoft Resources. You do the unthinkable! You Google IE latest version on Chrome.
It wants to automatically seek 100 porn sites and deep seed some major malware and if possible plant a self-destruct button on the next start-up command.
But polite Google throws up the result.
Shifty eyes you follows the installation process, in the meanwhile, you have packed lunch, sent two kids to school, did the laundry, went to the salon, and got your hair done in the perfect shade of golden pink.
Installation done.
Click, nothing.
You scream endlessly like an Edvard Munch reprint.
nivs24 